Dwight (Tony)

So get ready to be bored out of your minds once again. lol.

First I want to apologize for not being very active when it comes to keeping up with journals. That's not going to change anytime soon. Things are getting rough. On top of the depression I have a lot of homework to do. I have so many papers to write and presentations to prepare along with studying for finals. This semester will be over in about another month so i'll have two weeks off to enjoy. Don't get me wrong, i'll still be stopping in to comment and write when I get a chance but it won't be often. If you need/want to delete me feel free. I completely understand and there will be no hard feelings. Take care and wish me luck! Later.

I've decided to make my boring journal a Friends Only journal. If you would like to be added to my Friends-list leave a comment to this entry and you'll be added.

Ironically, i'm not listening to music now. I'm watching television but I just felt like doing this post.

I've noticed that lately, probably around late last year, that when I hear a song i'm usually trying to find the sound of the bass guitar. Good bass playing can make me listen to a song that I think sucks. I've tested this and have noticed that songs that I didn't really care much for are more appealing after hearing the bass guitar.

I guess this is why I like listening to bands like Red Hot Chili Peppers and No Doubt. Flea and Tony Kanal are great bass players and they'll keep you bobbing your head to the music. I heard something that just blew me away though. It was on Tuesday. A guy that I work with and I were going to Genuardi's and he had this cd in. It was Bela Fleck and the Fleck Tones. Great instrumental stuff. I heard this bass solo and was really caught off guard by the sounds that this bass player was producing. The guys name is Victor Wooten and he is the best bass player in the world and I dare you to prove me wrong.

I ended up looking online and he has a cd that he released in 1996 I think. It's simply incredible. The whole album is basically this guy play a 4 string bass and there is occasionally a voice here and there. This guy, on just a 4 string bass, could put alot of actual bands to shame. Now I know this isn't for everyone. Most just want that catchy tune, but if you like to listen to people that can hold a conversation with you through their instrument then you've got to hear this.

Well, what to say here. To everyone that still reads this pile of rubbish. Thank you and Happy New Year. I'm not really into New Years Resolutions but......nah, nevermind. I'm not going to make any.

I'm sure my life will continue to be boring, but I will try to post more. I know some people really like reading these things and it's a helluva way to kill time.

I guess i've been through alot of stuff that I've left out of this thing. I guess even in now I fear judgment sometimes. I'm just going over some dates that are in my day planner and moving them over into my new one. I know it's hard to believe I even bother with them but I need them. I'm surprisingly forgetful. I have birthdays to remember and now I guess I have to remember how long i've been dating Josh. I know it was early December. I have a date for it but I have to check it, seeing as I kinda pulled it out of thin air.

Don't worry, my entries aren't going to get all sappy now. Although this is my longest relationship to date. I believe it'll be a month next week. Yet I remain very skeptical. I don't know, it just feels weird. I kinda have get that feeling that i'm supposed to be alone, there is actually some comfort that comes from that.

December was a hell of a month. What a way to end 2003. I got ripped off twice on ebay and once on amazon. I got the money back from the ebay ones on New Years Day. I wonder how far the secret service goes with those investigations. I didn't really believe that the secret service was getting involved but I don't know. In this day and age why would anyone bother trying to rip people off on the net. By being on the net you've created a trail that's damn near impossible to get rid of and then you go to a site whose business is putting people in touch to do business. If you rip people off then you affect that company's business so of course they'll make an example of you. It's not worth the risk for a couple hundred bucks.

Also in December my grandmother was hospitalized. I know this makes me sound like a bad grandson but I didn't know she was as far along in age as she is. I called her on Christmas Day, she was back home. I wished her a Merry Christmas and she seems to be doing better.

Whoa! This entry turned out to be longer than I thought it would be so let me end this here. Thanks for reading if you took the time. I'll try to post more. Take care.

You are Mr. Parker! Very practical and a bit of a
hard nose, but still quite loveable!


Which A Christmas Story Character Are You?
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I found this interesting, gotta love nostalgia. Got it from </a></b></a>stardustic and a friend of hers.

1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE." - Probably did it recently
2. You can sing the rap to the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air." - Still do on the weekends
3. You wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylish.
4. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start a club of your own.
5. You owned those lil Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls. - I used to smell my sister's
6. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey on Blossom. - Once you saw the white girl dancing you were hooked
7. Two words: M.C. Hammer. - I'd still be listening to "Can't Touch This" if I could find the tape
8. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock." - I watched but I only remember the red one
9. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars. - My sister's bike had them and I rode that sometimes. Does that count?
10. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales." - Still do when i'm bored
11. When it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons. (Oooh Oooh and eating cap'n crunch!!!) - Was still doing that until X-Men:Evolution stopped again
12. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
13. You saw the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" on the big screen. - I lied to my friends and told them that I was in it
14. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school. - We were just talking about this at work, loved those games
15. You made your Mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.
16. You played the game "MASH" (Mansion, Apartment, Shack, House)
17. You wore Jordache Jean jacket and you were proud of it. - I thought I was the shit
18. L.A. Gear - Had to love those lights
19. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in Kindergarten. - My aunt slapped my sister for singing the theme song at the top of her lungs early in the morning
20. You remember reading "Tales of a fourth grade nothing" and all the Ramona books. - I loved anything by Judy Blume, Beverly Cleary, & Jerry Spinelli. I even watched the Superfudge tv show
21. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF." - Enough so to recognize the Karate Kids moves when Neo did them in the first matrix movie
22. You wanted to be a Goonie. - What ever happened to the kid that played Data?
23. You ever wore fluorescent clothing.
24. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off. - Like i'm the only one who was shaking their head when they saw the cover of the Bad album, it's only gotten worse
25. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf. - I have pondered this, it seems like everyone forgets the smurf with the red pigtails
26. You took Lunch Pails to school. - When the mood hit, it was the cool thing to do
27. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets. - Is it bad that I really liked those?
28. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after every sentence.
29. You remember Hypercolor T-shirts.
30. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band.
31. You thought She-Ra and He-Man should hook up. - Ewww, incest
32. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged friendship bracelets.
33. You ever owned a pair of jelly shoes. - I wore my sister's when she wasn't looking, don't judge me
34. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know what you are, but what am I?" - Over the stomach i've done alot of things that Pee Wee did
35. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up." - I liked the remix better
36. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates. - Never went after inlines came out
37. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.
38. You have ever played with a Skip-It. - Not until I was in highschool
39. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonald's. - I think my mom still has the picture of me and Ronald McDonald
40. You've gone through this list occasionally saying "Totally awesome"
41. You remember Popples.
42. "Don't worry, be happy" - Worry, need money
43. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top Reeboks.
44. You wore socks scrunched down. - I'm starting to think the fact that I still do is a bad thing
45. "Miss MARY MACK MACK, all dressed in BLACK BLACK BLACK" Or, Ms. Susie had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell (toot toot) Ms. Susie went to heaven, the steamboat went to... - I can remember doing this stuff with my nieces a few years ago
46. You remember boom boxes vs. CD players.
47. You remember watching both "Gremlins" movies. - Did anyone else notice that Howie Mandel used the same voice for Gizmo, Bobby, & Skeeter?
48. You know what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!"
49. You remember watching Rainbow Bright and My Little Pony Tales. - Watched and played with the toys
50. You thought Doogie Howser was hot.
51. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac. - I was happy to see him back on tv, even if it was just in those 10 10 commercials
52. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool. - I had a crush on Joey when I was 7
53. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By the Bell," the ORIGINAL class. - Yeah, even the characters that were there for only one season and some of the support characters
54. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - I guess it depends on the song

Now that I look back over that I see that I can suck the fun out of damn near anything, lol. It also appears that there were some tell tail signs of my sexuality growing up that even I missed. You'd think the crush on Joey McIntyre would've made it so damn obvious.

I don't think that drinkycrow is going to be please with his. LOL.

</td></tr>

My LiveJournal 12 Days
My True Love gave to me...
12 beachbro04s a-squeezing.
11 ctliottas a-drinking.
10 drinkycrows a-swallowing.
9 kristine97s a-chewing.
8 lennongurl97s a-calling.
7 leznbisofcolors a-wiggling.
6 milkchocoholics a-twisting.
5 red secretboogies.
4 drumming stardustics.
3 Israeli xlivingproofxs.
2 dog mangofandangos.
And a rfreebern in a peach tree.
Get gifts! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If
we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers, and carrying a $600 Gucci Bag,
we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a
raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money
better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need
a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and
therefore you do not need a raise.

SICK DAYS
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If
you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

PERSONAL DAYS
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called
Saturday & Sunday. &nbs! p; ;

BEREAVEMENT LEAVE
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead
friends, relatives or co-workers! Every effort should be made to have
non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee
involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late
afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour
and subsequently leave one hour early.

RESTROOM USE
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a
strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes,
an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door
will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your
picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic
Offenders" category.

LUNCH BREAK
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more,! so that
they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to
get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5
minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim
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Have a nice week!
THE MANAGEMENT!

Honor: You are an honorable person who is firm with
his/her beliefs and treats others as you are
treated. People would consider you humble at
times and very respectful, and someone to
definitely respect back.


Which Characteristic From the Samurai Code Matches You Best? (You may find out your best trait)
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I am so bored right now. I'm sitting here watching Scarface, been listening to music on and off. I wanted to go out, but I know if I go out i'll spend money. I did enough of that yesterday.

I just feel kinda weird. I haven't felt this way in a good while. I didn't miss feeling like this at all.

It's that feeling of missing someone I guess. I just don't know what to do with myself. I am too familiar with this road of "recovery". I've traveled down it far too many times. What is it about me that makes me so gullible and willing to believe things even after I say I won't? Then on top of that, I come here and whine afterwards.

I've been trying to analyze myself I guess. Trying to figure out what's wrong. What is it about me that pushes people away? Why do I lose all of the people that call themselves friends. How come most of them only talked to me while I had something to offer them and when they got it (or didn't get it) they moved on. Why is it so hard to find just one good friend?

I know some of it is my fault. Like with Anthony. I guess maybe I over reacted, I wanted too much from the friendship. The problem is if someone you call one of your best friends disappears for about 3 months without returning phone calls, emails, etc your views on the whole friendship change. So you can't just call and expect things to be the same as the last time we talked. I know i'm weird and I shouldn't let it bother me so much, but I can't help it.

Another thing that's bugging me is the whole situation with my student loan. I just paid half of the bill and told them i'd send the other payment on the Friday after the one that's coming up. They want me to send it this week coming up. I don't get it, it's the same month just a different week. These people get on my fucking nerves. On top of that I always get the operator that sounds like they haven't been speaking English for very long and they tell me to repeat myself because they didn't understand me. Of course that comes after the insults of me not making an effort to pay the bill that I just called to pay. Some people.

Right about now I have about $100 missing from my bank account. I don't know were it is, I've been watching my money and of course it isn't on my statement. If it's not on thing it's another, but most times it the one thing and the other.

Anyhoo, I think i've done more than enough whining in this entry. I'll save some for later.

I'm not even sure where to start. I'm just sitting here at work taking my lunch break.

Because of an entry I read in someone else's journal, we've spent the morning talking about that old case with the lady suing McDonald's for the hot coffee. After reading that entry I understand a little more about where the lady was coming from. No one agrees with me. I guess it's a split type of thing, it can go either way.

What else is going on? I got wrote up yesterday. I was coming in on Friday, but it would've been late. I called my boss and told her that I was still an hour away but was still coming. She told me that she was going to write me up either way so if I wanted to just turn around and go home I could. So, of course if i'm feeling sick, barely got any sleep, and am going to get written up either way i'm going home to take that cold shit and go to bed. Turns out if I would've come in I wouldn't have been written up. Oh well.

I've been chatting with </a></b></a>milkchocoholic everyday since the end of November. We're gonna get together at the end of the month. I'm really excited about that. There's a lot more too it but i'm not sure how to put it.

I got a call from an old "friend" lastnight. We were kinda close at one time, at least I thought so. He tends to disappear for months at a time and then calls expecting everything to be the say. I can't do that, so I guess he's mad at me now because he thinks of me as rude now. I just couldn't think of anything to say, we can't just jump into a conversation the way we used to.

I'm also worried about some family members of mine. My grandmother is in the hospital. I hope she's ok, I gotta try to get in touch with her soon. There is also some stuff with one of my cousins. Now that I think about it, a couple of my cousins are having problems.

I gotta get back to work now so I guess i'll try to up date later.

WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE BLACK PEOPLE


There were a total of 15 passengers boarding a small plane on their way to
Florida. One black mother and her child were on

their way to visit relatives while the other passengers consisted of the
KKK on their way to a convention.
The plane took off and after flying for approximately 12 minutes an
announcement came over the intercom from the pilot

saying: "We have overloaded this flight. We are going to have to start
throwing luggage out the window so the plane won't go down." Two minutes
later you could see luggage being thrown out the window.
Five minutes after that, the pilot made a second announcement. "We are
still experiencing problems. We're sorry, but the

plane is still overloaded and we're going to have to get rid of some of the
weight so the plane won't go down."
"We're going to have to ask some passengers to jump out of the window
when we call you by your name. To make it fair, we'll go alphabetically.
We'll start with A. Will all the African Americans please jump now?" The
black woman and her child continued to sit. The pilot came over the
intercom system. "Next is B. Will all the Black people please jump now"?
The Black woman and child continued to sit. The pilot came over the
intercom system again. "Next is C. Will all the colored people please jump
now?
All the KKK was now staring at the mother and child. The black woman and
child continued to sit. The child then looked up at her mum and said:
"Ma aren't we all of those?" The mother then replied to her daughter,
"Baby, we niggers tonight and the K's come before the N's."

first job: Stockperson/cashier at a crooked 7 Eleven
first real kiss: May 7, 2002 around 9:30ish with Billy P.
first screen name: Sayiaman82 (was supposed to be saiyaman82 but I misspelled it
first self-purchased album: I believe it was the Foo Fighters second CD "The Colour and the Shape
first funeral: My sister's first child Maya Caprice
first pets: Scottish Terrier named Keisha
first piercing: None, probably won't happen
first true love: I'd have to say it was probably Billy P. maybe Mike M.
first big trip: First time we moved from one state to another. It was supposed to be a visit but when we went back it was just to get our stuff.
last big car ride: Back when I got my first credit card, we went to Ohio
last kiss: Eric R. in May I believe
last good cry: I'm surprisingly not big on crying, it might have been the last time I attempted suicide
last movie seen: Die Another Day, The Hulk prior to that
last beverage drank: Apple Juice
last food consumed: Count Chocula
last phone call: Called out sick this morning
last TV show watched: Ricki Lake
last shoes worn: Black Timberland boots
last CD played: Coldplay - Parachutes
last item bought: Trailpasses
last disappointment: I can't put this weekend in that kind of order, I was sick ya know
last ice cream eaten: I had a ice cream sandwich like two months ago
last shirt worn: My highschool gym tee shirt

~Basics~
Name: Dwight
Middle Name: Anthony
Nicknames: Tony, Biggs, Dwillzee, Boner, Alfalfa
Day you were born: Monday
Birthday: June 10, 1982
Birthplace: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Height: 5'6.5"
Hair Color: Black
Eye Color: Brown
Righty or Lefty: Righty
Heritage: African(Black), Cherokee(Native American), and maybe some Caucasian(White)

~Have You Ever...~
Admired yourself in a mirror naked: I was staring but it wasn't out of admiration
Peed in the shower: Ewww, gross. Wait, is this a public shower?
Pierced something on your body on your own: I get chills looking at safety pins
Had sex: It was so long ago I don't think it counts anymore
Done Drugs: Only if it was prescription, or over the counter. Wait, does second hand weed count?
Been called a tease: I think so
Been Drunk: Yup
Pissed your pants: None of your damn business
Played a game that required removal of clothing: Yeah, but it might have been a dream

~Do You...~
Bite your nails: Nope
Masturbate: Sa da tay!
Cuss a lot: Define "a lot"
Drink: Rarely
Like Bananas: Ewww, no
Have any bad habits: Too many to list here
Like animals: Depends
Have any pets: Nope
Get angry easily: Not really
Get annoyed easily: Yeah, i'm too easily peeved
Smoke: Not since i was like 6

~In the past month~
Had Sex: Only in my dreams and with myself
Made out: Yeah right
Drank alcohol: Just a(some) sip(s)
Smoked: Nope
Gone to the Mall: Just got back from there
Dyed your hair: Nope
Stolen anything: This questionnaire from someone else's journal
Gone skinny dipping: Nope
Done Drug: No sir

~Favorites~
Color: Black, Blue, White, Red
Song: Possibly Everlong by the Foo Fighters
Drink: Apple Juice
Actor: Too many to name
Actress: Too many to name
Band: Foo Fighters
Store: Best Buy is nice
Word: Fuck, it's so versatile
Movie: No favorites
Show: Far too many to choose

~Future~
College: I have no clue
Job: Not suer
Do you want to get married: Probably not
Have kids: Not I
Boys or girls: Neither.
Boys Names: Alexander, Martin, Adam, Ryan
Girl Names: don't know
Ever think you'll get divorced: No marriage to begin with

~Random~
Your most overused phrase on AIM: cool
Your thoughts first waking up: How many sick days do I have left
Your best physical feature: Don't really have a best
Your bedtime: Midnight
Pepsi or Coke: PEPSI!!!
Single or group dates: Single
Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee
Like(d) High school: Not really, but I still miss it
Get Along with your parents: Depends on the day
Like rain: as long as i'm not on my way to work or stuck out somewhere
Number of scars on your body: I got a couple
Number of times your name has been in the paper: None that I know of

What a fucking week. This is part of the reason that I increasingly hate holidays. Aside from only having myself to talk to I ended up getting sick. Now my mom is finally back in Philly and she wants me to come get her. When she called me yesterday she said she wouldn't be back until 5:00 P.M. She called me back lastnight telling me that she would be here at 9:00 A.M. Now, I haven't been to the bank yet. I usually pay my bills and shit like that before I start messing with my money, but you gotta do what you gotta do. So she calls me at 8:30 this morning wondering why i'm not down there waiting. Let me remind you that i'm still sick as fuck. I tell her i'm on my way. I get cleaned up and run up the street to the bank. Then I run back, but the train was early. Now I think I did pretty good considering i'm sick and the run up and back is about 4 minutes each way. I passed out on the steps when I came back inside. I just got a call from my mom asking why I hadn't left, I told her and she gets pissed at me. She tells me to call my aunt on three way. She asks my if she can pick her up but my aunt says she doesn't know how to get there. Even though she took us there the first time we went and that's also where she picked us up when we first got into this area. Anyway, my mom was telling my aunt what happened and basically blamed me for it. I don't know, I guess I whine too much. Time to suck it up. Gotta head out to get the train.

How long has it been since I last posted? I guess it doesn't matter.

I was going through a phase, I guess, where nothing really seemed to matter. For the most part I liked it. I got used, dissed, etc. but I didn't care. Unfortunately, I think the phase is over.

I'll be stuck home alone for the holiday and immediately following the holiday is time to pay more bills. Yay for me. I guess on the bright side I can afford to pay my bills.......well, atleast put something on it.

I guess i'm just looking or a constant. I want to get away from the past, but it continues to haunt me. I keep having dreams about my childhood friends and past relationships. Blah, just got a lecture. I forgot what I was going to say, actually I just don't feel like typing anymore.

D You have trouble trusting people.
W You like your privacy.
I You are always smiling & making others smile. (riiiight)
G You have excellent ways of viewing people.
H You are not judgmental.
T You have an attitude, a big one. (bitch please)

If you want to do this, knock yourself out:

A You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.

B You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.

C You definitely have a partier side in you, dont be shy to show it.

D You have trouble trusting people.

E You are a very exciting person.

F Everyone loves you.

G You have excellent ways of viewing people.

H You are not judgmental.

I You are always smiling & making others smile.

J Jealousy.

K You like to try new things.

L Love is something you deeply believe in.

M Success comes easily to you.

N You like to work, but you always want a break.

O You are very open-minded.

P You are very friendly and understanding.

Q You are a hypocrite.

R You are a social butterfly.

S You are very broad-minded.

T You have an attitude, a big one.

U You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.

V You have a very good physical and looks.

W You like your privacy.

X You never let people tell you what to do.

Y You cause a lot of trouble.

Z You're always fighting with someone.

Artistic Talent: Still trying to find it

Birthplace: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Career Aspirations at Age 6: Police Detective

Dreams, Recurring:Dreams where guys like Chucky and Jason are hanging out with me then try to kill me and I end up getting away by doing something weird like poking them in the eyes

Elementary School, name of: Westside Elementary, John Humbird Elementary, Cash Valley, some school in Harrisburg I forgot, Glenwood Park Elementary, Forest Park Elementary, Bloomingdale Elementary

Fabrics and Materials, favorite to wear on body: Cotton

Gym, work out at one?: not since high school

Happy Memory: Making jokes that made no since with my friend Brian when I lived in Cumberland, MD

Introvert or Extrovert?: mostly introvert

Jewelry/Trinkets Worn Regularly: My watch

Killer App, Favorite: What dat mean??

Latest Book Read: Thus Spoke Zarathustra by Friedrich Nietzsche

Medications (Rx), regular: None anymore, gave up on it

Nickname(s), current: Tony, Biggs, Dwillzee, Boner, Alfalfa

Operating System of Choice (for desktop): Windows XP Professional

Pets, current: None

Queer?: as folk

Role Models, current: None

Sleepwear, typical: underwear

University Degree(s): none yet

Virginity, age lost at: 20

Weather, favorite: sunny with a cool breeze

Xes you're on speaking terms with, numbers/percentage of: None really, just bug a few when I get bored

Yard/Rummage Sales, do you go?: nope

Zen Moments: in the shower, listening to music, playing games, sleeping, etc.